Updated: May 19, 2019
YOU. Love you.
I don't know if I love you. I may not even know you. But YOU love you. Love yourself.
Bitterness isn't worth the cost of not loving loving yourself. If Jesus died for me, for them, He certainly died for you. A costly price and a worthy reward. So give yourself permission to also love yourself for it.
I was laughing at church yesterday because at the end of the sermon the pastor on stage was telling the congregation that the prayer team felt lead to pray for anyone feeling stretched too thin, that needed help saying no to things on their plate. I laughed because in my heart I heard all the mamas say amen! What could I possibly say no to more?
"No child I cannot change your poopy pull-up, we should have gone in the toilet!"
"No child I won't make you lunch today, I am trying to lighten my load."
"No child I can't pick you up from school today, I need some alone time."
Or "No CPS you can't visit this month I am taking a break from regulations."
My title of mom is my gift and my struggle. It takes regular, intentional, minute-by-minute, self-submission.
So I am attaching a certificate of permission for us to say no to standards or expectations that don't currently align with our present season. Things we CAN say no too. Do I LOVE to have a clean house? Oh yes. Do I LOVE when I can see the drains in my shining sink bottom? Indeed. Do I love an empty laundry room? You know it! But then after all is said and done, after all are kissed and tucked in, there is work that could really never end for this mama. And as much as I like to work hard and have big goals and challenges, this struggle season I am in the middle in has made my attitude realize one thing: enjoying life is ok too, even necessary. Investing in the enjoyment of the temple of myself is honorable as well.
Dear Mama Bird, what sounds fun and re-filling for you? Baking beautiful cookies and treating yourself and your family, regardless of cavities or sugar highs or calories (and believe me, we have too many of all of these)? Adding a new post to your blog about the best moments with your loved ones over christmas or even your current favorite things (!!)? Listening to a podcast, putting on a face mask, watching HGTV, reading a book, or getting Starbucks and walking around target for an hour? I've done all of these recently. And I've felt more like myself after because of the pointlessness, more like the mama I want to be around my kids. Let the Lord in and pursue you with JOY. It’s a crazy choice to have to choose to relinquish and to make, but say YES!
“For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.” (2 cor 1:20)
The dishes will still be there and so will the big, massive, heavy, real, looMing, lurking, dreams and fears and budgets and lists, and GOD HAS IT. JESUS IS WITH YOU, even though not a single ounce of me, my momming, or adulting, even deserves it a single righteous bit. Semi-sweet and subpar, but saved; and believing all the birdies under the protection of my wings BELONG THERE ON PURPOSE. So, you go girl. Take a deep breath and relax and forget the standards.
BE encouraged, "Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10)."
Right now mama, what our baby birds need is for their Mama Bird to love herself and trust God to be God and be enough and be The Giver, The Pursuer, The Upholder of our faith, our kids faith, our husbands faith, and our kids futures, and The Security-Giver in the midst of the war for our hearts, irregardless or regardless. His mercies are new every morning and His goodness knows no end.. even for the semi-sweet, sub-par, and saved.
Be a little bit more like yourself today and find your silliness and joy and what makes you laugh and give yourself permission to do that for a welcome while. In Christ Jesus we are free. Live free Mama Bird, also for your kids.
Mama. Mama. Mama.